By: María Torres Rivas, Psychologist at Le Fit Mom.
No one tells you what happens when a new mom arrives home with her baby, what she will find or what she will feel. Motherhood is a profound change, mothers can feel disoriented, with very intense and contradictory feelings. During this time, they may feel overwhelmed and yet they are not able to express their feelings freely in order to receive adequate help.
When I talk to a new mother, the first thing she tells me is how in love she is with her babe as soon as she sees him. They mention how much of a difficult and painful experience, the birth was; but the moment they see their baby and their little face, all the bad things are forgotten and the only thing that remains is the peace of knowing that they are healthy and extremely loved.
Immediately after childbirth, you may start feeling fatigue due to the lack of sleep of many nights in a row; in addition, the mother must recover physically after the birth. This tiredness makes mothers feel an increase in the difficulty of their tasks, as they are always putting the baby’s needs before their own.
I feel overwhelmed, I am supposed to be happy, I wanted to have a baby! Why do I feel like this?
We live in a society where being a mother is not valued enough and all the effort involved may seem small in relation to other jobs. This means that mothers who previously worked must adapt to a new situation of many hours at home with their child at a different rhythm.
For some mothers, community support; whether it is their own mother, sister or trusted friends, will provide the help they may need.
The most important thing is to find the time to talk about these new feelings, to be able to express them naturally. Only after a few months of experiencing moments of loneliness, confusion and uncertainty, the mother begins to understand herself and her baby better; as she realizes that her confidence will grow as her baby grows. She will now be able to make more decisions in relation to her child and will be less doubtful.
It is important to note that not all mothers will have the same feelings. There are many factors influencing how a mother feels, starting with her own life and background. And always, despite everything, they will say without doubt that it was worth it.
Don’t hesitate to express your feelings, don’t be afraid of being judged.
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